WARREN BEATH

A fire ant at a picnic
The cockroach in the steel wool
The most primitive form of life
Leaving toothpick tracks
across the sands of time.
Eternal and perfect
God made me this way
He was drunk and fumbling–
they tried to keep him from
getting in the car.
Now look at him.
In a bed with a view of the Elysian Fields
burbling silly stories of snakes and apples
On life support.
And at night it is television and crafts
Oh look how nice–
she says
This world you’ve constructed
How nice.
And she wheels him back to bed and reconnected
to somnolent flatlines
the monitor snores
And she cleans up the cups
and dumps it all in the waste can.
And so this insect world
Where all is murder
and a fight for crumbs
for the leavings
the scuttling of claws
clicking of mandibles
clacking of exoskeletons
carapaces
Murder in our insect world.

All is murder in the insect world
The mantis the butterfly the roach
The curling caterpillar
The spider is an arachnid spinning a web
on spindly toothpick legs
The beetle curling in your hand
And in a double-wide trailer
father in his T shirt
The Learning Channel
beats her with his belt
Insects Insects Insects

Why does it have to be this way

A vicodin for your thoughts?

We were strangled in Byzantium

The Bedouins stole into our tent

raped you while I watched

And there was poor Hailey our baby

with the umbilical wrapped around her blue neck.

We walked with Jesus to Golgotha

You said you had blisters

I carried you the rest of the way

Just so you could see a God die.

We were on the Thresher

when she imploded a thousand feet down

We held hands as we floated toward the surface

Then the orgasmic explosion

It was the bends, baby.

I was with Kennedy in Dallas

His brains were in my lap

And Jackie’s pillbox full of oxy

struggled with the numbness in my system until—-

It was Gatorade to a terrorist

He thanked me in an Islamic way as he pulled the pin

A beard like Rasputin’s

clutching me down into the ice and the water

And we dove for sunken treasure

but found only the Hunley

and our love had become a submarine full of

skeletal federals.

But we will always have Byzantium—-

and the night of the Premiere at the Pantages

You wore a strapless gown

and I was impotent after the Copa

You said it was the rum

and tried to laugh it off, but I thought you were

laughing at me

And forgave with the speed of the bullet that went through

my brain.

Johnny fell off the harvestor at threshing time

into the wheat but we caught him

with the blades and

the look on his face, terrorized

Reminded me of what it was like in Byzantium.

I sat on Ted Bundy’s lap

and sizzled with the electric zap

of a serial killer with the clap

caught from a busstop girl—-

We had a cure for that in Byzantium.

Mr. President

I was Peter Lawford in Palm Springs

Boy was Sinatra mad, I had not seen such a face

since the Bedouins.

You styled my hair like the wolfman—-

I was a fright, always turning into something

I was not, oh yes I really was you taught me how to be the

monster in all the dreams

of pillbox hats and submarines.

Scale me to one-tenth my size and I will teach you

how to pinch the nerves with a handful of razors.

Petulant, we had never been at this depth before—-

Nor thought you could hit a Presidential head with a Mannlicher-Carcano

from the Twin Towers

We were screaming in the Hindenburg when it came down

in Byzantium, New Jersey

Elvis on the toilet at Graceland—-

the hissing and kerplop of a stool in the still waters of the basin

And then silence.

So welcome to Chernobyl?

Yes, here we have the cooling rods and look at those gauges

Cancerous for sure

but you could read a magazine by his nose.

And Stevie Ray Vaughan—- another soul stringer called home

De-headed by wiper blades God’s windshield

Another gnat in the grill.

The asp was Cleopatra’s

But the attitude was all mine.

The point is:

You don’t want to be in my head, you wouldn’t last FIVE MINUTES>

My little music videos.  I wanted to put them somewhere.  I’m getting several suggestions I get a mental evaluation every day, now.  It’s the tattoo.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fslVXCCdwzE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Er-vU-2PqVI&feature=channel.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hfkyHscAJ9k&playnext_from=TL&videos=w8owpyZj0AU

This isn’t me, it’s Jerry Lee Lewis.  I remember watching this show on Midnight Special and it was probably– oh, 1972.  Oh, those lonely weekends

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WujqggUjuvc&feature=related

 

outward expression
inner condition
permanent. 
feeding on the innocence
and purity
cock crow.  
realization
startlement
fear. 
appetites have destroyed
beautiful in his perfection
singularity of purpose. 
plague and contagion
oh lonely parasite. 
predatory
her cry
killing her husband
bond
her face and her love
void in his undead life.
drawn powerless
majesty in loneliness
alienation from living flesh.
the outsider
face pressed to the window
domestic life
love of the living world
destroying her
destroyed himself. 
fatal mistake
eclipsed by obsession. 
his love
him destroyed
redemption
release
Death
love
Death
sex
Redemption
love
release
death. 
Love
death. 
Death
embraced
death
death
death
death

 

The scene in its entirety:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3SVu3aHQfD0

 

PERSONALITY DISORDER TEST

Disorder	Rating	Information
Paranoid:	High	more info | forum
Schizoid:	Moderate	more info | forum
Schizotypal:	Very High	more info | forum
Antisocial:	High	more info | forum
Borderline:	Moderate	more info | forum
Histrionic:	Moderate	more info | forum
Narcissistic:	High	more info | forum
Avoidant:	High	more info | forum
Dependent:	Moderate	more info | forum
Obsessive-Compulsive:	High	more info | forum

PERSONALITY TYPE:Introverted (I) 80% Extroverted (E) 20% Intuitive (N) 53.33% Sensing (S) 46.67% Thinking (T) 51.52% Feeling (F) 48.48% Judging (J) 64% Perceiving (P) 36%

                                                                         Your type is: INTJ

 

INTJ – “Mastermind”. Introverted intellectual with a preference for finding certainty. A builder of systems and the applier of theoretical models. 2.1% of total population.

 

Not a pretty picture, is it? 

The good news is I share the psychological profile of one of my heroes Klaus Kinski.  I’ve read his autobiography and watched My Best Fiend quite a few times.  I paid a lot of money for a bootleg video of Kinski’s last opus, the unwatchable Paganini.  I downloaded a lot of his rants as alerts in my computer so that anytime I opened or closed a window Kinski would swear at me in German.  There is a pleasure in madness that only madmen know– and Kinski knew it. 

Get the entire Kinski–Werner Herzog ouevre and watch it– intensely and religiously.  You won’t be the same.  Look at me.

MUST WATCH:  PRICELESS VIDEO OF KINSKI’S JESUS DISASTER::

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nXyDfbzyOcM

Kinski’s unique take on the scenario of the older man and the much younger woman:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFPBNgohEgg&feature=related

Is this my reward for serving God
The blood I’ve spilled for faith
We feed on human life
Come taste what I have seen

We have lingered in the chambers of the sea

By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown

Till human voices wake us and we drown

The last thing to go through his mind

was a bullet.

My body drifted against the restraining belts of my seat in the sunken airliner and I saw my own hands become pale and bloated.  On the third day a black eel entered the cabin and his teeth were long and sharp.  He nibbled and then pulled against my face and the flesh easily peeled away to reveal a mandible with clenched teeth.  I saw his dark form writhe and then jerk and more of my cheek fell away in its mouth.  Its convulsive gulpings marked the progress of my skin into its intestines and on the fourth day I saw my own flesh transfigured and expelled in a dark cloud of fecal matter.  I inhabited the eel now and looked back into my own rippling flesh where tiny blind animals shivered in ecstasies.  I twisted in the dark and entered my own yawning mouth and slithered in darkness down into my own caverns.  I made a home there and ventured out only in the deepest darkness of night into colder black water but always behind me was the comforting refuge of my own death shell.  In and out of the eyes, and a progress through the guts of all the blue and discolored and bloated worlds surrounding me.  And I was the god of this cavern and in control of all things.  Beyond happiness it was all rapture.  I lost words and became pure thought and I joined with the edges of the universe in their outward explosions to nothingness.  I was an open eye that took in all things and I saw through the eyes of God.  I saw tiny worlds and worlds within those worlds, and the membrane that bound them all together was the death of space and the silence of death of time.  I swam inward and melted into the heart of God and He was horrified–  strapped in His seat in this sunken airplane watching His own hands become pale and bloated.  On the third day an eel entered the cabin and his teeth were long and sharp.

I was in an airliner over the ocean when was a jolt and the plane lost altitude and we crashed into the waves and sank.  I was seatbelted.  We all drowned.  A baby floated to the top of the cabin.  Our eyes were open.  My eyes were open and I was dead and could see.  It was dark in the fuselage in the bottom of the ocean but I could see after a time.  The other passengers decomposed and I watched the progress of their disintegration.  My own eyes floated out of my head and with an eddy of current I could see my own tattered face.  In time I went to pieces and shreds of me drifted before my face and before my detached and floating eyes.  There were swirling phosphorescent things in the darkness.  Then I was not in myself but in one of the tiny swirling pieces of detached decomposition.  I looked at myself and I had no feeling but understanding.  I moved beyond and entered a brave new world of tiny things in the water of the ocean.  The blackness and the fuselage of death had become my home and the floating drowned and the waving hair of the women were only my environment.